If Will Robinson thinks being lost in space is dangerous...

Ever since our ancestors crawled out of the murky deep about 530 million years (give or take a few weeks) ago, we land animals have had a love/hate relationship with water. We drink it, play in and on it and enjoy simply being near it - walk on the beach anyone?

What would windsurfing be without water? Scraped knees and broken wrists. Pavement and even sand hurt. At some point or another, you come off the board and end up like a Tour de France racer.

These guys race bikes because land sailing looks too risky. They've seen the video below.

Water, though, doesn't always play nice. Tsunami, flash flood, storm surge, avalanche, rip tide, black (road) ice. I mean, really. And, since we've lost our gills, even a few inches of the stuff can kill us.

The ocean: great place to work unless you fall in. Then you have about 90 seconds to wish you'd have become a medical assistant or court transcriptionist.

Worse, the things in the water can behave just as badly. Oceans are full of little and big things that push us down a few notches on the food chain - everything from killer box jelly fish to killer whales.

Jim Crooks alerted us to this story of what happens when a shark gets Netflix. Inevitably, the shark runs across a certain movie about a quiet beach town in Massachusetts and gets ideas. Bad ideas.

Look at the cute fish that's following me home. Wait. What's that music? De dum. De dum. Dedum Dedum.

"Well, of course," you say, "sharks are creatures of the ocean." We really shouldn't be surprised when we run across one in their own home. After all, Mr. White is just looking after his neighborhood. So, a windsurfer who may be of the mind to avoid Mr. White might think to play elsewhere. Away from the beach and deep water. A windsurfer would think that he's no longer playing in Mr. White's living room. Think again.

Okay, you decide that maybe salt water isn't your thing. Which is a shame. The additional buoyancy of salt water helps offset those creeping pounds of middle age. Yes, it happens over time. You buy a board which seems to have plenty of float only to find in a few years that it sinks to your knees when you uphaul. It's not the board's fault, tubby. The board looks at you in your wetsuit with straining seems and whimpers a little when you put it in the water. And while wetsuits do, in fact, shrink over time, you, like the universe are expanding, expanding at an ever increasing rate.

So, that leaves fresh water. Fresh water is somewhat safer unless you live in Florida. Basically, in Florida, when you get in the water, regardless of salinity, you become someone's potential dinner. That's one reason of the many reasons we don't live in Florida. Another is the mountains. We live in a cooler climate where gators aren't an issue.

Then, Chris Voith spoils the party and tells us about testicle-munching fish that have been found in cooler fresh water. Cooler, like Illinois cooler. We're told that some people think that the fish are piranha but we are reassured that they aren't. They are pacu - their teeth, unlike a piranha's sharp and jagged teeth are more like a human's. Ah, that made me feel better, until I read this:

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Webguy, your husband had a bad accident at the lake today. He bled to death. From... from... a fish bite... I apologize, Mrs. Webguy, we usually don't laugh at a tragic time like this."

Okay, now I'm nervous even about lake water. Well, I have to splash and play somewhere. How about the neighborhood pool? Well, it turns out that some adults treat a pool just like you treat your wet suit - as a good place to empty their bladder. That's right. Go ahead and play Marco olo. Where's the P? You're swimming in it!

LMNO...Q

"...the results of a recent survey by the American Chemistry Assocation.

The group questioned 1,000 adults and one in five admitted to urinating in a pool at some point.

The group says urine can deplete the chlorine in a pool, leaving less chlorine to fight other harmful germs.

The urine also reacts with the chlorine and forms chloramines which can irritate the eyes.

Even worse, the group found that few people shower before they go swimming, which increases the chances that fecal matter will be introduced into the pool."

Fecal matter. Fecal. Matter. Excuse me while I add vomitus to the list of things that might be in a pool.

Walt Kelly's PogoOkefenokee Swamp a Georgia resident of the Okefenokee Swamp

In the past two weeks, two dead children, another on life support and one seriously injured on Lake Lanier due to boating collisions.

So far this year, zero fatal shark attacks in the US. Only three world wide. Source

Pogo was right.