You and Your 2001 Taxes

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You and Your 2001 Taxes

Memo:

From Dr. Dave

To You

Dated 2/17/02

Subject: What do I owe?

Dr. Dave is back.  Sorry but I lost my job with Bill Clinton.  He sacked me back in September when the thing happened.  Since then, I have been traveling around.  Trying to scope  out good windsurfing launch sites.  I haven’t really found anything of particular importance but I have come across something else that may be of interest.  I took this 6 hour course at H&R Block on taxes.  I really feel that my true calling is to be an accountant.  For that very reason, I have completed the necessary courses in accounting at Devry to receive a technical degree in ACCOUNTING.  I really don’t want to tell you this, but I am required to disclose that I have just been let go by Arthur Andersen.  I was Assistant Lead Accountant on the M & M account but I know deep down in my heart that it was a result of the Enron fiasco.  I still have my PHD in psychology and am quite able to counsel.    

Regardless of my detachment from AA, I still feel that I am destined to rescue my friends from the U.S Tax Code.

I feel great and I am ready to go.  Just post your tax question and let’s get you straightened out.    

Dr. Dave

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Re: You and Your 2001 Taxes

okay, I'll bite....

Do you take the same depreciation schedule for a 100% carbon mast as a 50%?

Are there any special considerations for hidden partnerships related to renting a house on Hatteras.  And since you have to go over Oregon Inlet to get there, is this considered an "offshore" activity?

Do we get oil and gas depletion credits for stopping at QuikTrip to fill up on the way to Van Pugh?

taxpayer xxx-xx-5674

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Re: You and Your 2001 Taxes

Webguy:

There are certain rules here that one must follow.  Most specifically, one must not bite.  If you bite your out.   I just won’t deal with you.  Once I was bitten buy this little old grey headed female windsurfer.  I was in the hospital for over 6 weeks because apparently the female windsurfer has a particularly heavy viral count in the mouth at all times.  Unlike the male counterpart the female windsurfer carries the ability to hold onto most bacteria in its purest form and with its most venomous capability.  Usually infections from the female bite can only be treated with mud packs and orange juice.  

The second problem I am having with your request for tax advise, is that you are not giving me your complete social security number.  You see, I need the entire number because if I encounter someone violating the tax code and I report this to this special person I know at IRS then I get this little commission or finders fee type of compensation.  So please include your complete social security number with all tax issue requests.

Now down to the business at hand.  Once you have complied with the foregoing I will advise you on:
1)   Applicable depreciation rules related to full and partial carbon mast including what to do with one piece and two piece mast.  Also, there is a little known rule related to broken masts.  Such as the one Flip destroyed last week.  

2) Hidden partnerships are not in the Tax Code.  If you are participating in a Hidden Partnership then I would suggest that you keep it hidden.  And keep it hidden especially from people who get that little compensation from turning violators in.  

3) I do not understand your question on Oregon.  Oregon is on the west coast and Hatteras is on the east coast.  I can tell you this though, the U. S. Tax Code treats most areas of the east and west coast equally.  You will have to be more geographically correct when referring to this question.  

4) Lastly, yes gas depletion credits do apply for Van Pugh sailors.  However, they only apply to persons depleting gas on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  On Monday the depletions are reduced to 80% of Tue. and Thurs.  On Sat and Sun the depletion credits are not allowed at all.  And on Wed there is a special reduction of ½ of the mileage from the nearest rest area on I - 85, plus 17 percent of the current milage on your vehicle less the odometer read at the end of the trip.  There is a new form and a new law in Congress at present dealing with this very issue.  I will give you updates as I see them on C-SPAM.  

Bill to:  Webguy
Invoice #183472
February 13, 2002
Amount Due $1,234.90
Terms 2 percent in 10 or .5 percent in 30

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Re: You and Your 2001 Taxes

Tax credit - Come to Daddy

So everyone thinks they know all there is to know about 2001 taxes.  Yea, Right!  Well, I’ll bet you missed the education credit of a max of $2000. for schooling or educational purposes.  This is not a deduction.  It is a tax credit.  Yes a dollar for dollar credit against you 2001 tax liability.  With the approval of my supervisor at Arthur Anderson, I have determined that those who took part in the Learn To Windsurf Day in June are eligible for this credit.  All you have to do is get a note signed by your mom stating that, “Yes you did attend” and use form 1040NR-EZ  and enter the total cost of the Learn To Windsurf Day on line 17.  Line 18 is already preprinted as $2000. and line 19 asks you to take the amount of line 17 or 18 whichever is greater and enter 99.9 percent of that line on line 33 of you 1040.

And you thought Dr. Dave PHD was full of wind.

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