stuff I've collected from rec.windsurfing, some funny, one sad.
ECavan6070
<< previous in thread · next in thread >>
>
>But better yet, in similar conditions, is my contender for dumbest question
>of all: "Is that fun?"
>
The scenario :
You drive 4 and a half hours to Wilmington from Charlotte on a promising 20 knot plus forecast, because there is not a breath of wind here on the home lake unless accompanied by a violent thunderstorm. You show up at the beach to find it flat and blowing 8-13. Not quite enough to get your large wave board and sail going. You go out anyway, pump like a nut and maybe get on a plane a couple of times on the way back to the beach. You're working like a dog, there is nary a wave to ride or jump to be had. You come in frustrated, having already cursed the sky and the NWS, hoping that nobody overheard your incessant whining. The first person you see when you get to shore (1/4 mile downwind of where you started) says, "Great day for that, isn't it?". You think about saying what you really think at that moment, like "This sport sucks". "It's a waste of time". You think about all the productive things you could've done that day, the time you could've spent with your kids. But instead you're driving 9 hours to spend a day trip sailing the seas of c**p. Not wanting to sound like the whiny, crybaby mope that you are at that moment you reply, "Yeah, it's a beautiful day". Meanwhile the wind is dying further and it's 100 degrees with 90% humidity and the large sand flies are starting to take little chunks of your flesh. You drive home, swearing to sell all of your gear and take up golf or botany. But you don't. And you find yourself loading up the car again only a week later, set to do it all again.
Can you tell I haven't sailed in a while.
Dave in Charlotte (waiting on hurricane season).
Author: Mike F
<< previous in thread · next in thread >> Then there's always, "Do you ever fall in?"
And , "How do you stay dry?"
"What do you do that for?"
"Why don't you guys get real sailboats?" (To which I replied something like, "For the same reason you aren't driving a bus" (he was driving a sports car).
"Can you swim?" (Actually, I know of one lady who sails fairly often who can't swim a lick. She wears a PFD, and never falls in, but has never been on a plane after many years at it.
Author: Glenn Woodell
<< previous in thread · next in thread >>
In article ,
says...
>
>We've all been asked some REALLY ignorant questions by non-sailing
>bystanders. Which ones stand out in your mind as the "best"?
Not a question but a statement that I hear more than anything else.
You drive up to the launch packed ot the gills with gear. You jump out of the surfmobile and run to get a look at the water, only to find it's blowing 7 with gusts to 11. And then it happens...
Someone always walks up and says, "Nice day for it huh?" And you say, "Well, it really takes as lot of wind to make these little boards fun." And he says, "Oh really, it feel like there's a lot of wind to me."
Author: Vigesimal
<< previous in thread · next in thread >> Well, this is not quite what was asked for.
On a very unusual 4.2 local day, an elderly gentleman asked when it was best for windsurfing.
My answer: "When you see little kids and dogs rolling down the street blown by the wind, that is when we like to windsurf the most."
Twen Ty
07/30/2000
Author: Jeremy Goslin
<< previous in thread · next in thread >>
> Non-windsurfing bystanders who ask questions are probably wishing they could
> participate! Perhaps we should all carry business cards of our local
> windsurfing shops/instructors, to give to these folks, and encourage them to
> give it a try!
If you threw a bucket of water over them and took their wallet you would get the same effect much quicker..
Author: dano
<< previous in thread · next in thread >> Or when it's a RARE 5.0 sat morning, you are choking on adrenaline trying to disappear politely, and your visiting mother-in-law asks, "Why don't you just go next weekend?"
Another good one by my wife's best friend "Wouldn't you get really sick of windsurfing if you could go every day?"
You live in [insert any landlocked state here]? Where can you windsurf THERE?
So far I've refrained from saying, "In the forest, dummy" or "DUH ... in the water."
Author: Warren Evans
<< previous in thread · next in thread >> Actually, at Rocky Point in Maryland, you are supposed to fill out a form to get a permit to windsurf, and one of the items on the form is Sail Color:______.
RyszardJH wrote in message <20000730181342.22340.00000561@ng-cv1.aol.com>...
>Oh, you windsurf, what color is your sail?
"Mark H." wrote in message news:9EGg5.21177$o71.1388202@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
Telegraph UK
Thursday 27 July 2000
THE pilot killed in the Concorde disaster was yesterday described as a passionate sportsman who became the first Frenchman to windsurf across the Atlantic.
Christian Marty, 54, who qualified as a Concorde pilot only last summer, died instantly along with co-pilot Jean Marcot on Tuesday. Eric Derivry, a fellow pilot, said M Marty, from Saint-Laurent du Var, near Nice, enjoyed mountain biking as well as windsurfing.
M Marty said: "Christian Marty was a great sportsman, very sharp mentally and physically - he was at the highest level. During stopovers, he would take his bike with him and then we would see him leaving to climb mountains."
Another pilot, Pierre-Jean Loisel, paid tribute to M Marty's humility and professionalism, adding that he was a "sportsman at heart". M Marty, who windsurfed across the Atlantic 20 years ago, flew his first plane in August 1969 and became a captain and instructor on the Airbus A340 before qualifying as a Concorde pilot.
more stuff:
From: Thomas Reynolds
I found these while clearing out my sent mailbox. Thought it might be
worth a re run, coz I want MORE.
I will put these on my webpage... eventually!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What Is "Coarse Sailing"?
No its not a typo...
I have just finished reading a rather hilarious book entitled :"The Art
Of Coarse Sailing" by Michael Green. It follows the misadventures of a
bunch of coarse (read hopeless) sailors who have no idea how to sail
yachts andd the trouble that gets them into I quote:
"Quiet Dawn turned into the wind and started to drift sideways towards
the railway bridge at an alarming rate... Meanwhile Dennis was trying to
restore steerage way looking rather like an ancient phonecian oarsman.
Arthur was pumping the tiller to bring the bows around and shouting at
Joan to start paddling with the deck mop." Suffice to say they dimast
themselves.
But it got me thinking about my own sailboarding coarse moments, and the
one I have seen. As an instructor and sailboard shop employee I get to
see more than one or two, so perhaps I will begin what I hope will be a
long thread...
A female student, despite repeated warnings NOT to go near the pier,
sails right up to it and rams it. A wave lifts the board and rig up,
hooking the boom over a post. She falls off, leaving the rig hung up on
the post. Another wave comes, dislodges the rig, and it lands on her
head.
A customer goes sailing with his new fin. He returns telling me it is
the worst thing he has ever used and that he wants his money back. I go
out to his car to have a look at the board. I take the fin cover off and
he says-"Oh is that just a cover?" hmmm nice one.
A caller rings a workmate to ask if there are harness lines he could put
around his body as he can't afford a harness and would that work? We
thought not.
A workmate tries to repair his board in a hurry. He mixes polyester
resin with epoxy hardner-to little effect.
I rescued a guy who had lost his rig. I asked how this had come about
and he said "My head turban came off, and I decided to re rig out here
in the water, but when I detatched my base, a wave pulled it out of my
hands and it sank to the bottom".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you see yourself below?
When I Was a Beginner(tm) I witnessed am magnificent moment in coarse
sailing.
A guy was going out at Mt Martha, here in Victoria, Australia. It
seemed like it was a million knots, it was probably 25, tops. he carried
his gear correctly to the waters edge, but (and even to my then
untrained eye) he seemed to get all arse about, and tried to push the
clew end towards the wind. Suffice to say, this was a task and a half,
and when the sizable shore break/close out hit, it smacked him down like
an errant red headed stepchlild, the mast accross his chest, with the
wave washing over him to keep him pinned. a bigger wave broke, and it
actually broke the friggin mast over his chest like a tree branch. At
this stage I began to run towards this poor hapless clown. He did
however mange to extracate himself from the aforementioned position, and
crawled up onto dry sand and damn near kissed it-pope style. A certified
coarse sailor. I am really careful when launching into a big shorey.
thanks mate...........
whoever you are......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first Coarse sailors come out of the woodwork...
Gil Woolley wrote:
> The worst "Walk of Shame" I've ever done was through extremely deep
> soft mud under about 8 inches of water and the tide was still
> retreating.
> The wind died just as I started to throw a rooster tail of mud
> instead of water.
>
>
> Who else is willing to tell these embarrassing stories about
> themselves?
Tom then said:
I like "walk of shame" have to use that... Over here we have the " The
downwind Shuffle" Its a difficult dance, requiring you to get worked in
a cross shore shorebreak, and slowly move with the current and wind
downwind till you are so far out of sight that you are better off
driving your car down to retrieve your gear rather than carrying it.
There's one spot (pt ormond) where if you screw up enough you can come
in round the corner at (expletive) Cove. Why expletive cove? Coz if you
get stuck there its a real expletive to get out without damaging
something. We nearly renamed it Rai's cove after a friend who spent an
inordinate amount of time stuck there.....
cheers coarse sailors of the world!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But Whay Coarse thomas?
bwands wrote:
> Funny as hell, but isn't it "course" sailors instead of "coarse?"
--
No Will, therein lies the joke-Coarse is Rough, and the sailing they do
is bloody
rough let me say
Cheeers
tom
From: "Mark H."
Newsgroups: rec.windsurfing
References:
Subject: Re: 100 degree rule
>James M. Oconnor wrote in message...
> Someone said if you add the water temp and the air temp and the sum is
> over 100 degrees it is safe to sail.
> Is the 100 degree rule a good rule of thumb?
> I would think this would be a good rule of thumb but what if you have a
> dry suit and a pair of mittens? Can you change to the 80 rule?
Interesting thread.
water, 50 degree 
air, below that beware.
To answer your question and in agreement with other responders, I'd say the
100 degree "rule" is not a good rule of thumb, rather it's a fallacy - it's
probably a bastardization of the 50/50 rule that Jerry mentioned: 50 degree
As regards the personal comfort references, I believe that your comfort lies
with what level of survival risk you're willing to take, not the comfort
related to your feeling of warmth while sailing.
As Mike F. knows, the Air Force (and Navy) have made a science of cold water
survival; i.e., how long a downed flyer will last before rescue, w/without
anti-exposure suit. And although wind chill will have an effect, it's the
water, robbing a body of heat 25x faster than air, that really does the
deed.
Not succumbing to hypothermia is what you're concerned with, either when
sailing "normally," or when you have an equipment/protective gear failure.
The colder it gets, the more critical it becomes.
When the water and air temps get below 50F, coupled with your other local
conditions, you especially have to take the proper protective precautions;
i.e. wear that Kokatat drysuit and hood, maybe bring along that waterproof
cell phone and 12 gauge, etc.
Like a law of diminishing returns, there comes a point in water temps where
survival times drop precipitously. So, I think that, after you decide what
the adequate protective gear is to allow you to sail in the conditions you
desire, you also have to decide what level of "extreme" you're comfortable
with (there's that comfort again). By that, I mean, what are your chances
of survival IF your protective gear fails?
Here's a couple other "Rules of 50":
1 - An average adult person has a 50/50 chance of surviving a 50 yard swim
in 50 degree F. water.
2 - A 50 year old person in 50 degree F water has a 50/50 chance of
surviving for 50 minutes
Swimming in cold water hastens the onset of hypothermia. By swimming or
treading water, a person will cool about 35 percent faster than if remaining
still. Some good swimmers have been able to swim to .8 mile in 50° F water
before being overcome by hypothermia. Others have not been able to swim 100
yards.
Let's say that you become separated from your board during a good sesh. How
long would you be able to be immersed? How about if that Kokatat springs a
leak from the crash that separated you from the board or in the swells? If
the water's 50F, you have a better chance of awaiting rescue or even
swimming to shore than if the water's 35F, in which you may lose functional
use of your extremities within minutes.
I think cold water sailing qualifies windsurfing as an "extreme" sport, if
other aspects of it don't also.
Mark H.
The Bronx
From: Craig gsogh Goudie
Newsgroups: rec.windsurfing
Subject: Re: Windsurfing has ruined my life
In article ,
"Ann L. Phelan" wrote:
> I cannot travel ANYWHERE unless there is windsurfing, The Weather
Channel is
> my life..I want to ask if they can feature a windsurf wind segment in
lieu
> of Atmospheres..I cannot make ANY plans with non windsurfers I do not
want
> to date anyone unless they windsurf and now I am seeking to purchase a
> windsurf vehicle. I am measuring the roof and interiors for gear
> considerations..in the old days I would sit on an island beach with a
book
> and pina colada, and drive a cute little car..What next?? My name is
Annie
> and I am a windsurf addict..
>
> Windsurf Anonymous 12 Step program wanted
Hi Ann, I also am a junkie, but let me share the perspective
from someone who has windsurfed for longer than they can remember.
I'm not sure how many years you have been sailing, but it sounds
like somewhere between 2 and 3. This is still the Honeymoon phase
and can be somewhat devistating to interpersonal relationships, and
your work ethic. You are coming to a cross road in about the next
2 years. At that point you will be desperate for more wind, and
since most locations will not support it, you will become intense
about it. Some very avid windsurfers quit around this stage. It sounds
strange, but they begin to sail only in high winds, and this slowly
leads to less and less TOW and eventually no TOW. Others move to
a high wind location which gains them a few more years in the Honeymoon
stage, but eventually they start sailing only in the 4.5 and down
range, and at some point they'll start saying they mostly sail for the
exercise. If you make it through the Honeymoon and Disillusionment
stages, you will begin to develop a lasting and deep peace with the
sport. It may take 10 years or more, but it is the most fullfilling
and lasting joy I believe you can achieve on this plane of existence.
It will happen like this: You'll be out on a 4.5 day ripping and
slashing big swell, maybe catching occasional 8 ft airs with the
intense concentration of a avid expert windsurfer, and your
concentration will wander briefly. Perhaps you'll catch a rainbow
in the spray from an off the lip you are completing. Perhaps you'll
notice a seagull maintaining flight with you rather than spotting your
landing. Perhaps a warm blast of wind on your face will seem to reach
past your skin to something much deeper.
In that moment, you will know the harmony, the beauty, the peace, and
the joy, not just of yourself, but of your life as an extension of the
wind, the waves, the earth and the sky, of where life has come from,
and where it's going.
These moments, while not sustainable, have a very interesting and
permanent side effect. They give you a perspective that would allow you
to die happy and peaceful in the next moment, a gratefulness for the
life you've experienced, and a realization of the marvelous gift that
next moment can be.
They also allow you to rejoice in the present; a frame of
mind which enables you to enjoy that pina colada on the beach, the sun
on your face, a conversation with your friends, a light wind planer,
or a rippen jibe, all with great zeal. You may find yourself happy,
just to sit at the beach on a no wind day with good company, and great
stories. This may be the closest we can get to heaven on this plane.
I wish for you, all who windsurf, and especially for those who don't,
an extended adrenalin filled honeymoon, a brief disillusionment,
and a long life in the present.
p.s. I won't wander too far down the metaphysical, but in my own case
it's given me a unique feel for weather and weather prediction.