I don't believe this ever made it in, so before I trash it off my hard drive:

A recent windsurfing industry coalition commissioned a number of media consultants to come up with ways to increase the popularity of windsurfing among the general public. We were able to secure copies of a number of the proposals and present below some excerpts:

1) Windsurfing resembles snow skiing, both as a participants sport and as a destination recreational industry. For example:
a) Both require specialized equipment that is difficult to store, transport and is subject to technological obsolescence.
b) Both require specialized clothing which makes all but the most svelte look ungainly, overweight and is useless for virtually any other activity.
c) Both require a moderate to extreme learning curve with a significant number of bruises, cuts and muscle aches along the way
d) Both have probably caused the breakdown of thousands of relationships as one spouse/significant other has attempted to teach the other
e) Both are best done at spots that 50 years ago were regarded as obscure, isolated outposts of civilization.
f) Both are extremely seasonal in most places. You rarely ski in the summer and you rarely windsurf in the summer; in the SE US anyway.

2) Skiing is a successful industry as demonstrated by the number of shops in Atlanta that sell skiing and snowboarding equipment, apparel and accesories. Seeing at the Atlanta area, on average, receives less than 3 inches of snow a year and the closest skiing is 5 hrs by auto and 3 hrs by jet, this is remarkable.

3) To make windsurfing more skiing-like we suggest the following changes:
a)
b) Eliminate jibes and tacks. At the end of each run, windsurfers should be required to dismount, stand in line a half hour and then board a pontoon boat for a ride back to the other side of the lake. And, yes, charge $50 a day for the "service".
c) Install wooden pilings at random locations across the lake. This will come closest to simulating the hazard of trees along a ski slope.
d) Upon any car or truck exiting a windsurfing site, it must be sprayed with a mixture of salt and mud. While this will accelerate the deterioration of the vehicle, most owners won't mind as it's a visible reminder to others that the owner has been windsurfing.
e) Construct windsurfing booties/footstraps of hard plastic, preferably so they bruise toes, feet and shins.
f) Ban all local windsurfing. The closest windsurfing should be at least 3-5 hrs by car. Paradoxically, we believe that this would stimulate equipment sales. The more useless it is to own equipment, the more a "vanity" purchase it becomes (please see recent paper on soccer moms and 4 wheel drive vehicles).
g) Instruct the NWS to radically overstate windspeeds and use subjective terms instead like ski areas do. The following table gives some actual windspeeds, subjective windsurfing and the analogous skiing equivalents:
0-5 mph marginal planing wet/groomed
5-10 mph planing packed powder
10-15 mph Slalom/Hi Speed 1-2" new
etc.

While it may be true that certain literary license is taken in these descriptions, it will be likely that more folks will come out to windsurfing spots. In other words, the NWS reporting actual windspeeds is too much information for many people.
h) Segregate skilled windsurfers from unskilled. One way would be to denote certain beaches with the equivalent of the green/blue/black marker system. Another would be to fly flags depending upon the conditions.
i) Convince the TV and movie industry that apres-windsurfing activities are the hotbed of adult liasons and that windsurfing instructors have an animal magnetism rivaled only by Warren Beatty (in his prime) and Brittany Spears (in her 15 min. of fame). Such portrayals convinced thousands if not millions to try skiing; mind you, not for the sport but for the side benefits. But who cares? Thousands of boards will be sold in the process.
j) Instruct big wave sailors to "bite it" once in awhile. The mere site of an extreme skier rag-dolling down a mountainside is enough to get thousands of teens onto the slope. Jaws sailors are playing it way too safe. We need video footage of tumbled bodies. What's the point of surviving Jaws by sailing away?
k) On water rescues should only be done by loading the sailor onto a red floating body board and then towing it very slowly through the sailing area so everyone can get a good look at the hapless, embarrassed sailor who can only stare at the clouds and hope no one is looking.
l) Move parking at sailing sites to some distance from the water. Then sailors can either lug their gear a half mile or ride a shuttle bus to the beach, for a nominal fee, of course.
m) Restrict all windsurfing vacations to the following 4 times of year: Christmas, New Year's, MLK Holiday, Spring Break. Reasonable accomodations should only be available by booking 2 years in advance.

Next Proposal: WWF (World Windsurfing Federation)
Combine Windsurf Racing with Modern Entertainment Values.